5/1/2023 0 Comments High maintenance meaningYour relationship with your husband can certainly use a bit more warmth and goodwill, right? Avoid the temptation to overdo kind words. A certain kind of warmth and goodwill comes from telling someone that you appreciate what he has done. Couples too often withhold appreciation from each other. If your husband has done something that deserves admiration, or at least simple thanks, give it to him. It seems part of their natural makeup to require a certain amount of feedback for a job well done. People have a constant desire to be patted on the back and husbands are no different. If, in fact, you do have a high maintenance husband, following the seven tips below will ensure a healthy relationship in which you are able to meet all of his needs without becoming a slave to his every wish and command. For example, decide if your husband is truly being unreasonable, or if you are being too short with him. Why does he seem so demanding? A good bit of self-inspection will not hurt, either. Rather, think of it as taking the time to discover what your husband needs. That is surely not the way to develop a loving and lasting relationship between spouses. The goal is not to cater to every little thing your husband demands. The good news is that you are able to deal with his demands, as long as they are reasonable and you maintain a sense of perspective. You may have previously thought that his needs were excessive and too much for you to handle. While this has often led to a great deal of frustration, you love your husband and want to continue to work things out. A high-maintenance husband can often be much like a little boy, always needing you to watch out for him, to guide and direct his choices, who may throw tantrums and require gentling to calm him down, or he may be one who often needs your help to buoy his own self-esteem and reassure him that he is capable. Cast aside the whinging babies who aren’t prepared to treat you as you deserve and find the Chandler Bings of this world.You are a woman with a high maintenance husband, one who demands a lot of personal attention, who is needy in both emotional and physical areas, and who seems to require much of your caring to function at his best. As a Friends fan, I am reminded of Chandler’s words to Monica who has been accused of being high maintenance by Phoebe- “they can call you high maintenance, but it’s okay because I like maintaining you”. I was struck by an important thing to remember when writing this: you will always be high maintenance to the wrong people, if they are not mature or emotionally evolved enough to respect and understand your needs. If anyone feels uncomfortable in a friendship or relationship, they should not feel straitjacketed by ridiculous notions about keeping feelings to themselves for fear of upsetting the apple cart. I was irritated that I should feel like this. I do not believe I am, yet this belief is still prevalent in society. By freely describing myself as high maintenance and aggressively calling for an end to the phrase, I was still afraid that people would think of me as difficult and too much like hard work. However, what struck me as I wrote this rant is my apprehension about putting this on the internet. I have an idea of why I was voted the highest maintenance out of the people sitting around the kitchen table. In the ‘Urban Dictionary’, you also find a definition for a ‘high maintenance woman’ but not a specific definition for ‘high maintenance man’. A quick search of ‘high maintenance’ on google, delivers high up on the suggested searches ‘high maintenance girl’ and the first result: ‘12 signs she’s a high maintenance girl: Should you date her?’ from a site laughably called ‘The Adult Man’. Yet, it seemed inconceivable to me that any of the boys would ever have been described in that way. In the context of the game, the term was not attached to a particular gender. However, since then I have become increasingly bothered when thinking about the phrase and its connotations. This was not something I found offensive at the time and no friendships were damaged. The object of the round was to decide who in the room was the most ‘high maintenance’ and votes were resoundingly cast for me, including my own. This rant was fuelled during a recent round of a novelty card game played at the kitchen table between my flatmates and me.
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